It's September. Imagine yourself sitting on a couch inside the Brisbane Square Library. In your hand is your phone, typing words. In your mind, you think of how you've scrapped editorial after editorial because you've never quite got it perfect and your life keeps changing.
A constant tape hiss of emptiness and purposelessness has been carved into your mind. You've been forsaken by those you thought were your mentors and companions. You're in pain but you know that you have to do something to stop the same cycle you've been in for so long. You decide to lock in and not leave the library until you've finally finished what you've been wanting to do for so long, to a standard you're satisfied with.
That paints a picture of where I'm at over six months since last working on this zine. Over those six months, I've met people—some pleasant, some unpleasant—who taught me lessons about how to be in this world. I've had experiences which though were somewhat memorable, just lack 'something' to them.
My current state wasn't suddenly created from a sudden life change (although it really did bring what was boiling up the surface), but rather little things that have dismantled my idea of myself and have forced me to reevaluate that idea and start the process of rebuilding a better version.
Really, what I've learnt is to stop chasing popularity, and approval from people you can't connect with or who love starting conflict, and to just focus on committing yourself to a purpose. Sure it sucks to be alone or to not have such a lively social life, but what will you gain from getting approval from people who don't even care about you?
I've also learnt that sometimes you've just got to accept the painful reality of certain events or circumstances and let it be an opportunity for change and growth rather than dwelling and outsourcing your own responsibility for changing how you react to such circumstances.
Am I happy with the state my life is in right now? Not really; I've lost my closest friends, the haters are hating, and overall I just feel like I'm at a mental slump compared to where I was at six months ago, but it is what it is, and I'm confident that if I put my mind to things, foster genuine connections, and hold myself with confidence and simply not care about what others think—I will be set to fulfill Maslow's hierarchy of needs. I will exceed the standards and accomplishments set by myself and done by others, and ultimately be able to look back on how my problems and worries were so insignificant and how easy it was for me to get to where I'll be. The why?
Why not? You only ever live once. Sure there's evil in this world but you always have the power to change what you do and how you react to things. I've made so many great accomplishments so why stop now? Why slow down? We're all just part of the same thing observing itself from different angles. With that considered, why not do something, be something, see something? There's always a way to change your circumstances or see those circumstances differently. In the end it's those who have a clearcut purpose guiding their choices and who see things for what they are that go the furthest. That's my definition of enlightenment.
Creating this zine is a way for me to connect with others' stories, and create further connection through sharing both my story and their stories. It's a way for me to push the boundaries of what's been done and express myself. It forms a part of my life purpose to create things and foster connections.
From the archive. Editorial · 8 September 2025 · phone notes carried verbatim.