WW3 In March

It's the middle of April, and I miss summertime, specifically late February. Honestly I didn't want to make this issue because im just gonna say it—with all the people who love to stir up shit with me for attention and fame, it didn't feel worth it. That, combined with some awful shitty times lately has made if so that I don't want to do something that I know wouldn't be good for me. So why am I creating this issue? It's to see once and for all if it's really worth it or not. To see if this will benefit me in any way.

Nobody thinks of somebody who writes a zine as 'cool' or someone worthy of being in a friend group. No no, we have a literal fucking criminal who's in a really popular band in the scene right now, who still has tons of friends and fans. It's those who are confident who are popular, and I'm feeling pretty confident right now—just the pissed off type of confidence.

Now everyone wants to hear how the scene's going, right? Well, its easy to see, it's shit. A lot of really popular people in the scene aren't popular because they're good people, but because they have connections within friend groups, and they're good at manipulation or just have confidence.

The scene went through quite the WW3 in March. The Indro crew imploded, mainly because of the utter ridiculousness that had taken place and finally got 'taken care of', though of course they're still kicking it as Indro has become the new hang out spot now. Queen Street had its hayday as quite a crazy and fun crowd back in February and early March, though it's mainly dead now, apart from some Indro kids trying to claim it as theirs.

People—as much as they love to deny it—are self centred. I had a person I was hanging out with steal my stuff, and even when I met them and asked for it back, they made up excuses and still has my shit. Another person liked to start up shit for attention and to rally people against me, and they've benefitted from using the connections I gave them to make themselves successful. People have used me for free stuff, free food, and free favours. People conveniently forget when I've shouted them stuff, or a favour they promised to do.

Throughout this entire year, only once have I ever been invited to hangout, and it was by my only real friend who I have a genuine connection with, who is currently needing time alone due to some really awful shit that happened to them. I worked so hard to get good grades this term, and instead of having some good old celebration with some good mates, I've either been stuck lonely at home, or wandering around aimlessly in the city, with nothing to do, nobody to be with, and a crippling burnout from either doing work or procrastinating, because I'm either alone, or being among strangers, and if I'm lucky? Those strangers pretend to be my friends.

I don't even know how to socialise anymore; the isolation has made me less tolerant of other people's bullshit. Maybe this might be a good thing, because when I wasn't like this I let other people walk all over me due to me being blissfully unaware. I'm just gonna say it right off—SkatePunk wasn't fun for me. Going without friends removes the aspect of sharing a moment with the ones you love. I wasn't in any group chats, I wasn't invited to go with others. And the reason? I'm not in anyone's inner circle.

Well, since everyone's talking about it, here's what my experience at SkatePunk was like.

to burnout the fact that many people love to stir up shit, and because doing this zine stuff feels weird now that I've been doing it for over a year, but whatever, I do this to promote local talent and this might be able to help with my burnout in an ironic kinda way.

I feel like when Alfred hit, it marked a turning point. Before that, it seemed like my life was heading down a good path—I met some people by pure chance in the city, and we had a little crew going on. For the first time, I was part of a friend group. With the end up term assignments and miserable weather, all that went down another path, a really awful one.

I burnt out by the end of the term, and while other people are enjoying their holidays, I haven't been. I had this school application to write and I kept rewriting it and rewriting it to try and get it perfect because what I wrote a few weeks back was quite awful, never getting past the first 3 questions before I become too tired and just leave it for the next day, repeat and repeat.

I went to this really big gig a few days back and honestly I didn't really enjoy it. I went there alone, because my best friend who I hang out with was recovering from some really bad shit that happened to them. I had other 'friends' though I'm not part of their inner circle so it wasn't like I was going to be invited or accepted as 'one of them'. Suffice to say, going to the gig didn't make things any better. It only emphasised my feeling of alienation, and walking alone in the torrential rain to the bus stop back home was a gruesome experience.

This issue is my attempt to get back to those good times again. We have an interview with local musician and visionary Brax, along with a review of his recent event SkatePunk.